The Worst kind of mage
by COShepard
Summary: The ideas of magic being good or evil has long instilled itself on the world. A hermit and outcast living in the middle of a peaceful nations knows some of the darkest and most fiendish of spells to exist and has command of a magic many mages ignore... Common sense.
1. Demostine

_There I stood upon the mountain as they valley burned. The smell of brimstone and sulphur perforated the air as I slowly stepped down. I saw them bow as I pass; creatures soulless, their eyes empty of any emotion. One approached and spoke but I heard no words but nodded at it anyway. It smiled as it drew its axe over its shoulder and ran off. The first verbal sound pierced my ears; chanting being done the middle of the fire. A pony was strapped to the alter, unconscious, as those around it chanted. One walked up lifting a dagger to the sky before plunging it into the creature's abdomen. Its scream… no her scream echoed throughout the valley._

"Merda" I whispered waking from the dream… or perhaps nightmare, it's hard to tell these days.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I get up, my hooves tapping quietly against the wood floor as I went about my day. Walking into the washroom I looked at my tired face, bags under silver eyes as I turned the water on and splashed it up, waking me further.

Walking downstairs passed the shelves of books lining the hallways and the study I stepped outside allowing the early morning light to dry my face. The heat absorbed by my black coat, yet shined as it met my red mane. I smiled as it was a good day to stay indoors; I turned wiping the smirk from my face as I walked into the study.

"Alright if I remember correctly I was…' I trailed off after hearing a protest from my stomach, 'oh very well food than study."

Walking into the kitchen as with the rest of the house everything was made of wood but some of the cupboards had different symbols painted on their doors. Lighting up my horn the kitchen arranged itself placing Oatbits, milk and dishes into place. Sitting down I poured it into the bowl and began eating as I looked outside my window. The sun now higher in the sky, the town… what is it called must have been months since I was last there. Began with a P… bah I'll remember eventually. Anyway I can see that settlement in all its peacefulness. Is it called peacefulville? No that doesn't sound right, sounds boring actually.

Shacking myself out of my thoughts I left the bowl where it was and returned to the study, lifting three books from the shelves, placing two in a pile as opened the one with the bookmark resting inside. Glazing over the bookmark, text was still visible even after all its use. 'Never falter in the pursuit of knowledge. – Demostine'. I smiled, couldn't help myself, as I began reading about the fifth plane of hell.

Nine gates, nine levels, nine sins. Not that I have embraced all these things… unless a lust for knowledge counts in which case most of these I've done. Wrath and Anger aren't really me, I mean hard to be angry or wrathful if you've been alone long enough. The citizens of pon… PONYVILLE that was the name, I knew I'd remember eventually. Anyway yes they are hard to hate. Mostly because I've barely interacted with them, usually I go into town every few months for supplies or if I can't be bothered than that delivery service tends to get me what I need. Though they must stop sending that clumsy pegasus, had to poke her with a stick to get her out of my rafters last time.

I'm unsure how many hours passed but when I heard that 'thud' at my door, I knew some mail had arrived, most likely another book or something. Getting up and opening the door I was faced to face with the clumsy pegasus… uh what's her name?

"Here you go mister" she said as she shoved a package and a letter into my hooves. "Have a nice day" she called flying off without hitting anything, I'm impressed. Oh wait nevermind she fell into a tree… oh well not my problem.

Unravelling the package first, was my ordered blood utensils, good for writing scripts and symbols of the occult. Helps when you're doing arts not approved by the law, ha the law forbidding certain types of magic. Magic is magic it just depends on the words, symbols and amount of time and preparation you put into it. Demonology is forbidden but hell I've got a cutiemark of a pentagram that says its fine. Yes yes my speciality is the dark arts, demonology being the most important, but that doesn't make me a bad guy. Alas the laws forbid it and here I am, on a mountain… in my cabin… alone! Maybe I'm a bit angry at the world… no more like the law. Who needs laws to preform good deeds?

Wait didn't I get a letter? Putting the pens on the desk I found it under it, having survived the shredding. Ok let's see… thousandth sun celebration tomorrow… Whoopdi freakin do. Hey look it's the sun for the uptenth time let's have a big celebration about it. Wait wait wait wait thousandth why does that sound familiar?

Lighting up my horn I start pulling books off the shelves that I had been reading for the past month, it had to be recent otherwise I probably wouldn't have… WAIT here we go. Dropping all the books except the one in front of me I put it on the podium. Nightmare moon… after a thousand years she'll return… night shall last forever. WELL THAT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD. Perhaps I will go to this celebration thing, just in case something does happen, if not hey free food.

Since this is a celebration I'll have to dress up a bit. Walking upstairs, I open up my cloak closet; black no, brown no, blue? … Nah. Ooo my red one yes that will do, putting it on covers up a good chunk of my body but most importantly my cutiemark. No doubt some bigwig of the kingdom will be running this show so I can't have them blowing the whistle on me… though even if they did see it I could just paralyse them giving me a head start on getting out of town. That's the thing about demonology it has a paralysis spell but it only lasts a day, you'd think demons would have prepared something a bit lengthier. Right cloak uh might as well take my bags; have my bits and still have a fair amount. Bring a couple of my books along I may get bored waiting for the end of the world. And… yes I think that will do. Should I bring a blood pen? Erm… nah I'm sure it will be fine.

Exiting the cottage, I set the wards on the door. Never know when some sneaky pony or diamond dog wants to go poking around my home. Then continue my walk down the slope and into the whitetail woods. Never really understood why it was called that I mean these woods and Everfree are connected so why bother differentiating between the two if they're the same. Though I suppose whitetail is not infested with monsters, I feel rather safe when I travel through either one when the need for ingredients is needed. True I do somewhat cheat by using an invisibility spell but still safety first.

Exiting the forest I could see the town and even closer the famous… uh … apple farm. Bugger I don't remember who runs it… uh balls I'll think about it later. As I got closer I could see a pegasus breaking all the clouds in the sky in a matter of seconds. Clearing the area seems like a good idea in case Nightmare is able control the weather, nopony wants to be struck by lightning. Getting into town was simple, the thing I love about this place is the lack of guards, which means a slow response if I was ever discovered. Now where's the thing-a-ma-gig being held? Errrrr… oh there's somepony. Walking up to a cream coloured pony, "Excuse me where is the celebration being held?" She turned around at me and seemed to stare before answering, "Uh see the building with all the flags?" Turning my head I did see something like that further in, "Ah thank you ma'am." Giving a bow of my head, I walked off hearing some whispering behind me as I left.

The place apparently was the town hall, good place to hold a celebration I suppose. Walking in I was greeted with colourful ribbons and poor defenses, really you'd think the government could build a defensive structure in case this place was attacked. Let's see there's a unicorn who is fussing over another unicorn and… is that a dragon? "Is that a dragon?" The dragon did turn and conform itself to be just that. "Uh yeah that's me a" "Oh it's only a baby dragon blast hoping for some useful… no I suppose this isn't the place. Excuse me either madams or young sir, is this where the celebration is to be held?" The fussed over lavender unicorn at least looked like she was trying to reply, "Yes*grunt* Celestia will be *oof* up on the balcony ow!" "Keep still darling I'll have your mane fixed in a minute." Celestia is coming here?! Shit maybe I shouldn't have come… well too late now I suppose. "What about guards she will have some I suppose?" "Of course dear, she wouldn't be without her valiant stallions" the white unicorn replied trying to fit the other into a dress. "Valiant or not, they better be prepared for Nightmare if she comes."

"Hey twilight looks like you're not the only one who believes that foal's tale." Twilight? Twilight… why do I know that name… isn't it a book? Hmm oh wait there's a unicorn in my face. "You know the tale?" she asked eyes looking hopeful I suppose. "Yes that's why I'm in town to see if it occurs or not. It probably won't but if it does I prefer to be here to help then be called later." "Then you believe she's coming tonight, I… no now WE have to stop her." Bitch you crazy I don't team up with random strangers. "Sorry miss Twilight but until she shows up I'm no use to you, besides I work alone." "Wait aren't you the stallion that avoided Pinkie's party?" I shuddered at the name, blasted pink hell spawn, and avoided this place for two years just to get out of that party plan. "Still avoiding ma'am I do not need a friend especially in her." "See spike this stallion is doing fine yet Celestia sends me here to insure that the celebration goes as planned and make friends." Oh shit, now I remember royal sunbutt has a student… this must be her. SHIT!

"Well if you've got some job for her I'd best leave you be" I stated walking quickly out of the building. "Wait' she called catching my cloak at the door, 'maybe we could compare notes and ideas." "You don't want be alone on this do you?" Twilight shook her head, "you're the first pony to believe me about this threat" she said pouting. Damn mares and their pouting think guys would fold just because they pull the look. "Very well Miss Twilight I stay." Ok apparently I'm that weak willed good to note. "So who do we have left Spike?" "Uh organizing the music is a mare named Fluttershy."

Now that's a name I know, I've seen and met her on my incursions into the forests, her ability over animals makes someone natural to talk to when you need to obtain certain poisons. Heading out of town Twilight has been rambling on about different plans to deal with Nightmare. "Need I remind you of the elements Twilight, they were used once on her. Might as well use them again." "But we don't know where they are." Yes they are rather elusive but I suppose as ancient artifacts go something that can hide itself is all well and good if the enemy was looking for it. "I think that might be her" Spike said pointing at… yes that's her conducting a choir of birds no less. "Good once were done here we can go back to the library and get some actual research." There's a library here? How come I've never seen it?

"EXCUSE me…" Twilight announced getting an 'eep' out of Fluttershy and scaring away the birds. Tactful ain't she… and Fluttershy isn't responding to her pestering, might as well step in. Lowering the cowl I spoke up, "It's alright Miss Shy she's here to oversee the celebration." Both mares stared and their faces turn slightly red… it's not hot out is it? I mean it's hard to tell if I'm red under the heat. Perhaps I am? "Um ok uh everything is going well and the uh music will be wonderful" Fluttershy stated. "There she said it will be fine now stop pestering her and let's go" I said staring at Twilight with mild annoyance. Really yelling at somepony is just rude, more so if Flutters is involved.

The three of us left as I put up my cowl, "So why do you wear a cloak?" "Because I can, I could ask why don't you?" "That's… fair" she answered turning her head back towards town. Hm not my best social moment, the lack of interactions these days is very limited these days. Though being who I am makes it acceptable right? No it probably doesn't. "Sorry, that seemed rather rude didn't it?" "No you said you didn't have friends I should have seen" "I have friends just none here or I've seen in the last few years." "Why?" "You're rather inquisitive for someone who doesn't want friends." That shut her up, "I've been busy with study."

It was getting near sundown by the time we arrived at the library… which was a tree, well that explains why I never found the place. The windows were rather dark even though the sun was still somewhat up. "Ok so I'll go in and set up some books and we'll try and think of a plan." I bowed "let me just check something and I'll be with you in a minute." She nodded and the pair headed inside and confirmed my suspicions as the sounds of cheering and noise makers went off. Pinkie Pie and her devilish parties, sorry Twilight but there's no way I'm going in there now. Peering through the window I could see Twilight drinking something then shoot fire out of her mouth… an unexpected reaction most likely due to pinkie's madness. Then looking to be yelling in anger ran upstairs. Hmm walking around the side of the tree and looking up I can see the upper windows, one occupied by Twilight. Lighting my horn and opening the window I called up, "Care for me to lower you down or for me to come up?" She looked like she was smiling though it's hard to tell with it being nightfall now. "I've got some books up here so maybe we can still brainstorm a plan." I nodded before lighting up my horn. Surrounded by heat of the thermal updraft I floated up just outside her window before hopping through.

She levitated some books off the shelf as I retrieved the two from my bag. She looked up and eyed my books before gasping, "The necronomican, how do you have that?" Hmm? Oh it seems that one was the Necronomican, fun book good guide to summoning creatures. "I have well connected friends." "But that book is for forbidden arts." "Then you don't have to worry about gaining more knowledge from it, it's mine and wasn't planning on sharing." Twilight seemed to step away from me, "B-but those are the dark arts only evil would use that magic." "Are you truly that blind and dense to believe such rubbish? Magic is neither good nor evil; it all depends on who wields its power. Something your teacher should have taught you from day one. Now it seems we will make little progress bickering so shall we get to it?" "No get out" she said staring daggers at me. Wow I haven't seen that face before another foolish scholar set in her ways. "Very well" I said and cast an invisibility spell on myself and watched her. She mulled around the room before lying down on the bed, really I thought this was a library not a house… perhaps it's both. Would make sense for a student of sunbutt to live where the books are, be that she is of narrow mindedness.

"Hey Twilight it's time to go the celebration is staring soon" Spike said walking into the room. Already? How long have I been watching her? Bugger what's her face will be here soon… not Celestia the other one. Come one me we were just talking about her… Nightmare moon that's right. "Coming Spike" she said getting up thankfully leaving the door open for me to leave. Invisibility spells are tricky, grants full invisibility of you and your possessions but if you interact with anything it disappears. Demons have a sense of humor I guess.

Exiting the library and following them to the town hall I looked up noticing the shadow in the moon had disappeared. If that's not a bad sign I don't know what is. Walking in there was the entire populace along with of few of the celestial guard, thick skulled and well-disciplined as I'm sure she'd want them to be. Can't have free thinkers no, they'd try to topple her glorious reign that she's had for thousands of years. But I can't very well blame her; we've had little in the way of wars for the last few hundred years so I guess she's doing alright.

"Attention ladies and gentle ponies the sun celebration is about to begin." Here we go or not, "To welcome the bringing of the sun I am pleased to introduce Princess Celestia." And… no one, there's no one up on the balcony. "Oh no" I could hear Twilight say beside the hell spawn. "She's gone" the white unicorn from before said getting every pony muttering amongst themselves as I hid myself behind one of the curtain.

"Well greetings my loyal subjects, did you miss me?" A voice echoed throughout the chamber as a black mist appeared on the balcony. Well shit, I began channelling magic but instead of the usual red aura my horn gave off, it was sickly green. _From the land of the dead I summon thee fallen warrior rise and serve thy master_. I directed the spell to summon it above me on the second floor. The mist formed revealing a dark blue alicorn, heavy armoured with purplish eyes staring at the ground floor. "My little ponies, my precious subjects rejoice… your true queen has returned!" Bitch you ain't my queen!

"Where's the princess?" they called out, the fools don't they know who she is. "Thou long for Celestia? Does my crown no longer count since I've been imprisoned for a thousand years? Am I not worthy of your devotion?" _Now creature strike down this so called queen_. A wail began as my minion leapt from above striking the queen. Or it would if she didn't dissolve her body back into black mist so it would shatter on impact. Really you'd think a skeleton would be smarter. "My my necromancy is still practised, has our dear sister allowed such a thing, but nay does any pony even know who I am?" "I do" both myself and twilight answered, me stepping out of cover from the curtain. "Nightmare Moon" I said charging up my horn as a skeletal archer appeared in front of me this time. "Hmm by the way you hide yourself that means you're an outcast; surely your magic would thrive under my rule." "Like I've said before, magic is neither good nor evil; I will fight you Nightmare even if I use the dark arts to do it." She chuckled to herself, "So naïve, under my rule the night… will last... FOREVER!" she yelled cackling to herself before vanishing.


	2. Saving the day

Twilight dashed off being followed by Flutters, the unicorn from before, the hell spawn and two others. I however unsummon the skeleton and walked out. The elements are most likely the key to all this, but they were lost a thousand years ago when those two did battle. Where was the battle? Canterlot wasn't the capital all those years ago, no it would have the centre of the region... oh.

I stood in front of the Everfree forest looking darker than usual. No doubt Nightmare is in there waiting for whoever dares to challenge her. Whelp might as well get going, but first invisibility spell. Alright let's get going shall we?

My goodness this is quite the fall looking over a cliff, imagine if this gave way. It would be quite a nasty fall. Oh wait is that a castle I see far below… I don't think I'd survive a fall like that. Best keep walking until a find a better shortcut. Aaaaand we're avoiding the sleeping manticore no need to ruffle its wings and mane… did I just hear a scream… no I guess it was nothing. These woods get really dense here, imagine if they were alive… actually isn't there a spell for that. I might come back here to test that but not right now I've got work to do.

Ah the river this will provide easy short cut ability, except the bridge is out. Hmm "SEBASTIAN" I called out, hearing the distant roar of a manticore behind me. Whoops didn't think I was that loud, as a purple sea serpent rose from the river. "Ah Demostine what are you doing in these neck of the woods?" "You know of the castle that lies within these woods? I am trekking out there to see if an ancient artifact is lying within." "Oh then you'll need to cross the river… and the bridge is gone. Hold on my friend." Sebastian picked me up from the waist and put me on the other side of the river. "Thank you… has your mustache grown even bigger from the last time I've seen it?" "Oh you noticed I was grooming it earlier before my nap." "The maintenance you put into your facial hair is an art as always. But we can discuss this once I get back from my spelunking." "Of course Demostine till then" he said waving me off as I turned to venture further in.

All this night is being rather silly I must say but giving a few hours I think I've reached my destination: A ruined keep with a single wooden bridge to traverse. And the bridge is still together, the rope is a lot more reliable than I remember. A bit shaky crossing but it held up despite my bags. As I got off I felt the bridge came undone underneath me. Looking back I could see that black mist of nightmare drifting into the keep. Looks like she had the same idea on the elements' location as I did as I wondered into the castle. Not that it was much of a secret to her; this was her castle a thousand years back. Now if I were an ancient artifact where would I hide myself?

This castle has seen better days… why didn't I just live here? It's big, spacious; no one ever comes out to check on it. It is literally a fortress… a broken down fortress but a fortress nonetheless. But there are so many rooms to manage and who knows what lives here these days and I don't care enough for all this maintenance. Although it would make a lovely labyrinth if I wanted to lose anybody… what was I doing here again?

WAIT! The elements I remember keeping them away from moonie and her legions of moonites… mooninites… moon knights. Whatever her followers are called they must still be stop through the power of Necromancy and Demonology… it's not like something silly like friendship could stop it, that's not real magic anyway. Wait... I'm hearing voices… hellspawn's voice and the others. Damn it I was hoping to find the elements before they arrived. Actually I hoped they wouldn't arrive period, not that I don't doubt Twilight's ability but the majority of them are useless in a fight. Turning down the next corner I find the throne room and the dark mist of Moonbutt coating the area. The stone structure of the five elements sitting between the thrones at the other side of the chamber… well that was easy though with moonie here makes getting them rather difficult.

Walking in was easy at least no need to disrupt the invisibility as I got closer to the statues, of course Nightmare moon HAD to materialize in front of the statue. "Hmm Demonology and necromancy, such fine tastes in magic yet you still resist?" I could feel the invisibility spell leave me as I stood in the center of the room looking at nightmare. "You're not my queen just like Celestia ain't my princess and I care very little if either of you rule, but your presence disturbs my usual business so the sake of manners I ask you to leave and return the sun." Her laugh in response of was full of mock as she looked at me with… a strange look of interest. "No love for my dear sister my my I thought ponies PRAISED HER!" She yelled at the end as her magic flared up and over the castle. "She's an old hag who refuses to relieve herself of the throne, what is there to praise?"

Again she laughed this time in joy at the comment as she stomped the ground a couple of times trying to control herself. "Hehe you truly are interesting, sure you wouldn't want to join me instead?" I knew my next comment would probably put her over so I discarded my cloak, "aren't you an old hag as well miss lived on the moon for a thousand years?" Her brow twitched before she surrounded herself in darkness, "YOU DARE!" "Aye, I think I do. _From the realms of hell I call upon you to serve my bidding, Beliarh!"_

I could hear somepony approaching from behind but there was no time for that as a ball of shadow came hurtling towards me only to be stopped by a purple hand raising out of an infernal portal followed by the other as it pulled itself out of the portal, the hideous Beliarh standing nearly to the ceiling in raw, purple flesh. Its face curled into a grin; sickly yellow and green teeth sticking out as it leered at Nightmare moon before spreading its small bat-like wings. "Devour her Beliarh with whatever force you need." A reverberating YES came from its maw before charging fist first at nightmare.

"Demonology!?" Twilight gasped as I turned to her, an uncaring face meeting a shocked one. "That doesn't matter right now; the elements are on the other side by the thrones. We'll keep her distracted." I turned as she looked at me and most likely my cutiemark as I heard a second gasp. "Move Twilight!" this time ordering as I prepped another spell. She raced by charging straight for the statue, as Nightmare flew by Beliarh right on here heels… hooves whatever. " _I call upon the pyres of hell to strike forth in a blaze of glory… Ignis Carn"_ A collection of fire appeared before me gathering more and more until it formed a large ball of flames and shot towards Nightmare, striking her as she blocked a strike from Beliarh. A cry of pain before whips of darkness came out the smoke heading straight for me. Easy dodges as Beliarh redoubled his efforts not wanting me to take his kill. "Twilight any time now would be nice!" I called and got a "There not working in response."

A sigh escaped my lips before Beliarh was knocked back, surprising me before a flash of magic appeared with Nightmare moon standing before Twilight… and she's stepped on one of them well shit. "You see now the elements no longer work I am free to rule FOREVER HAHAHAHAHA!" Maniacal laughter aside, five other figures raced by towards Twilight including hellspawn and Flutters. I had no place in it and felt Beliarh pick me up and put me on his shoulder. "Well how inconvenient, here I was hoping for a nice, speedy resolve with you getting fed and instead we get this shitstorm."

"I don't need those statues, the elements are right here!" Oh what heresy is Twilight talking about now I want to get back to fighting. "Applejack who encouraged me to trust her and kept me from harm, she represents the element of Honesty" an orange glow surrounded the Stetson wearing pony before a necklace appeared around her neck. "Oh nevermind we might have an easy meal yet." Twilight started listing off traits of the others and giving them elements… wait. "HOLD UP!" The room stopped to look at me, "YOU FUCKED UP SEBASTIAN'S STACHE!?" They simply stared at me then at Beliarh. "You can have her soul but I get a round at her first, bitch messed with my friend." He simply grinned as Twilight continued with her elemental thing until they blasted moonbutt. "Shit there goes eating anything" Beliarh visibly sagged his shoulders.

In place of moonbutt sat a smaller moonbutt, hopping off Beliarh I ushered him forward in which he grinned as he stepped forward over the six before resting before the now weakened night queen. Although before he could have his meal a burst of light eradicated his presence from this plane of existence… alas I'll have to find a meal for him later. Coming out of the dazzling light came sunbutt herself nodding at the others before having small talk with her sister and having apologizes and whatnot. Not my business anymore or much of a reason to be here… except to raid the library, surely some books were still in some form of readable condition. Turning away I picked up my cloak and floated it back onto my back before heading out.

"Wait" it was not the request but the pleading in the voice that made me stop and turn. Both royals looked at me with some level of intrigue and the element holders merely talked quietly amongst themselves. "I meant what I said earlier but your abilities with forbidden arts… may I ask your name?" Moon butt asked as Celestia stared at me. "Me? I'm just a dusty old outcast who prefers to live alone; I'm no one of importance." "Yet you summoned a lesser demon as if it was as simply as a levitation spell." I shrugged "I've studied for a long time, spells get easier over time, just that simple." "Still you helped return me to my…original form is there any boon I may grant?" Moon butt said much to the distress of Celestia. I held back a laugh but since she asked, "Unlikely unless you can bring back my parents that were killed by Celestia's royal guard" the comment silencing the room and the group sent a confused stare at Celestia who stepped back at the accusation, "or dispose of her like your darker half intended, really anything to stick it to Celestia would be fine for me after her soldiers killed my family." The room stayed silent until I shrugged and left towards the door, "Demostine." "What?" "My name is Demostine" and with that I left.

Now I don't feel like raiding the old tomes anymore… burn them maybe but not raid. Sigh stupid sun butt for popping up, stupid moon butt for asking questions, and stupid me for answering in general. I crossed the now remade bridge and wandered through the forest heading back to Sebastian's river. Somewhat hurrying along I arrived to find a mustache that's half orange half purple…dafaq? "Sebastian what happened?" The serpent looked at me and smiled, "An act of pure generosity, some vile mist cut my poor mustache and I cried long and hard before these ponies appeared before me, one cut off her tail just so I could have a mustache again, truly such a saint to care about my appearances so." I could feel the headache coming so I simply asked to pass which he obliged before ogling his mismatched facial hair… sometimes I just don't understand him.

The journey back home took even less time as it did to trek to town, finding the wards still up, I put them down, dumped everything beside the door and sat down to rest for a while. A rather busy day I must say though not everything went as planned but well ancient evil defeated and crisis averted so the major parts of the plan went through just fine. Not that I did much but play distraction but still all is well and good in the world… except sun butt she's still alive but we can cross the hurdle later now I can take a nap before getting back to work.

Knock knock knocking upon on my chamber door says otherwise. Perhaps if I ignored it whoever it was would go away though after a minute I saw that wasn't happening. Forcing myself up I opened the door to… find Twilight standing outside my door. How the hell did she find me? Not the postal service they keep all address to themselves. Just as she opens her mouth I slam the door, I don't have time to discuss the 'evils' of demonology. More knocking comes followed by "Open up I just want to talk." My response seemed rather appropriate "Leave me be! I have no wish to humor Celestia's student, get off my property before I force you to leave!" "I'm not leaving until you talk to me!" Stupid stubborn unicorn, I get the spell prepped before opening the door to a smiling Twilight. " _Paraseus"_ I stated and she stopped no sound no movement, didn't even look like she was breathing anymore. Stepping out I looked at my 'ornaments', at the time getting gargoyles seemed like a good plan especially when it came to annoying guests. "Oi I need one of you to drop her off in town." I merely stared for a few second before one of them moved, testing its wings a couple of times before picking up the paralyzed Twilight and flying off towards town. Good now I can take a nap as I walked back inside.

One nap and hours of study later and it seems that no one else will bother me today. Not that I was expecting anyone else those 5 probably found Twilight frozen and since they have no clue where I live they can't break my door down and reverse it. Not that I could in the first place once you're paralysed you stay that way until the next day. Nor could they actually break down the door, the wards would prevent that so unless they want some casualties trying to break in they would be stuck out there. Although fate probably has something against me as someone knocks at my door again. This time I'll just stay on the other side, I really wish I installed that eyehole in the door but it's too late now. "Whose there?" A rather recent voice came from the other side, "May we talk?" "That depends is there a bunch of guards outside with you moonbutt?"

Luna, as stated in the legends, was waiting outside my door and I really wish she'd leave. Unless she has just disposed of her sister there is very little I wish to discuss with her. "No guards but I do have some books from the royal library." Bribery in its purest form, a conversation for books, and gosh darn it am I a sucker for books. "Fine" I say as opening the door to moonbutt and a pile of books beside her. Before she said a word I whisk the books inside, no way I'm letting her in… it's a mess, not fit for guests. "What do you want?" "About what you asked earlier…" Holy shit did she actually dispose of her sister; even in her weakened state she's able to perform such tasks. "Your family… I'm sorry for your lose." Oh that request. "Its fine I doubt they'd want to live if sunbutt was still alive and in power, we'd just try going on the run… again." "And you are sure the royal guard killed them?" "As sure as I am that I practise every forbidden art known." Seriously I know a lot of dark arts had to put in special orders to Zebrambay and the Griffon kingdom to get some of these books. Luna seemed rather sadden by this fact… either the fact that her sister's guards are damn murderers or that I have a lot of time on my hands for all this magic. "I see… sorry to waste your time but just one last question. Why do you call me moonbutt and sister sunbutt?" "Oh that's easy your cutiemark is the moon and it's on your butt so you are moonbutt, same thing with sunbutt except it's the sun." Luna seemed to smile at the simplicity of naming everyone, "So you would be pentagram butt?" "I prefer pentabutt rolls of the tongue easier." I stated while crossing forelimbs and trying to keep balance to maintain the seriousness of my own name scheme. A chuckle escaped from her, ha I made someone laugh. Related to enemy number one but still. "You are a strange pony but an interesting one. If it's alright with you can I visit again when I've gained more strength?" "I doubt I could stop you without help, but if you want to waste time on an outcast like me, it's your choice." She bowed, "then I will see you again Demostine." And with that she poofed out of existence… wish I could do that. Well I suppose that's done with now for sleep… or I can get a head start on these royal books. Grinning to myself I cracked open the military guide of training those walking meat shields in heavy armour… know thy enemy or something like that HAHA!


	3. Too Tired

Oh door

You who keeps the wind and cold at bay, who rejects the light and casts it away, who takes on the darkness and holds it at bay, who blocks intruders from barging into my residence with the sturdiness of a thousand boulders…why must your greatest weakness be something so horrible? Why must creatures who knock against you echo so loudly into my abode? Why door do you betray me so?

… Well now that my dramatic side is done I should probably answer the door else I'll never get back to sleep. Perhaps pulling the all-nighter reading those books moonbutt gave me was a bad idea but I now know more about my enemy, where I can find the armourers in the country and a fifth of the country's population along with their names, addresses, and how much taxes they pay. Also I'm pretty sure Luna just grabbed random books off the shelf, put them into a pile and gave them to me. Mostly because that last one was Volume 3 of the series of censuses held by the kingdom… not that I could likely benefit from having the rest of the tomes it was not what I was expecting. On the other hand… hoof I know now the names of some of the guards in Canterlot, so pros and cons I guess. But this reading had a bad effect on me as I fell asleep while the sun was up.

And by fell I mean fell, as I'm surrounded by my books as I lie on the ground with hard covers and paperbacks cushioning my entire body as sometime while asleep a pile of books fell on me. The lack of sleep and crushed under what I love is not leaving me in a good mood. As I rise to answer the door's noise picks up in speed. I swear by the nine planes of hell if sparklebutt is on the other side. As I open the door… GOD DAMN IT TWILIGHT!

I can barely open my eyes or my mouth before she speaks, "I need your help Demostine, and you're my only hope." "That's not a good sign…relying on me. I'm barely awake and would prefer to sleep but I'm sure if I close this door you'll begin hitting it again, so for the sake of my growing headache and time. Give me the rundown on the problem." "Demostine… it's three in the afternoon." Bitch does it look like I care what time it is? "Miss Twilight, I'm a hermit I sleep and get up whenever I wish and I just pulled an all-nighter so would you hurry up with your problem." She looks sort of out of it with her mane in a mess and wet while she goes for her bag and pulls out… two golden tickets…oh.

"Celestia sent me two tickets to the grand galloping gala and said I could take one of my friends…" and at this point I zoned out. If the summary is twenty words or less I can listen but anymore and I stop bothering. But I can guess the problem 2 tickets divided by 5 equals a shitstorm waiting to happen. Probably all wanting to go for their own reasons and have been pestering her all day that she fled and made it up here where they wouldn't find her. So now she had two options: bother me in hopes I can fix her mess or return and disappoint the rest of her friends. Being an outcast is hard. And now she's looking at me expectantly… I though the explanation would take longer.

"Twilight you do realize I hate Celestia right? Like I want her dead and the first pony you thought of for asking for advice… was me?" "Well yeah I mean you don't want to go to the grand galloping gala do you?" Bitch are you trying to get me killed?! "A… fair point Twilight, well done. Now you know sunbutt better than being her student would you say she's generous?" "Absolutely with all the-""Shut up twilight I don't need your praise of her… now then she's a very giving pony right? Then just go and mail her asking for more tickets and saying you want to invite all your friends." "But tickets like these are hard to come by and very limited, I can't just ask the princess to give me for my friends." "Twilight you came for my advice. I just gave it, if the sunbutt is as giving as you say she is then she'll give you those tickets now shoo." I state waving my hoof at her. She backs up a bit before smiling, "Thank you Demostine, I will try." And then she left… I probably should have asked how she knows where I lived. Ah well no worries now back to sleep as I closed the door and collapsed back onto my books.

I woke up sometime at nightfall to the sound of an earthquake called my stomach having been ignored all day and finally decided that now it wanted food. Grumbling the hard covers piercing my back side I went into the kitchen and lit some candles to at least guide my path and found an apple… I still don't remember what the apple farm is called but they make some fine apples. As I ate away I pulled one of Luna's books into the kitchen for some more reading this time it was a history book of the Griffon kingdoms and the icy region of the crystal empire… aka the place that got shat on so hard that a constant blizzard had to cover the entire place up so no one could smell that shitstorm it made itself. True the storm was made by the king who kinda went crazy for power and may have brainwashed the entire populace into slavery and then kinda got sealed away by other parties before it could shit on every other region… but I'm sure it was a nice place at the time. It's been years since I've been to the griffon kingdoms, I enjoyed those times in King Ragnar's service but a self-imposed leaving of civilization was needed. He had much work and I needed more time for my books and comrades… gods I haven't seen them in forever either. Damn now I'm sad where the hell is everyone these days? Richard still has his mercenary company so he could be anywhere, Bianca and Steels were living at home last I saw them… Grundar is most likely drinking in some dive bar, talking about the old days to anyone would listen… I miss the old days.

Ah well sitting here won't bring them back and it seems to be getting brighter out again so might as well blow out the candles. Checking the fridge… I should have gone shopping yesterday, I don't care if the world could have been plunged into darkness a nearly empty fridge isn't going have me survive for long. And MY SURVIVAL is more important than the rest of the world's creatures. Besides I'm sure everything would have been fine if dark moonbutt succeeded… maybe… probably I don't know and I guess it doesn't really matter anyways. But yes it's time to go back to town for supplies… I would rely on delivery but I'd be dead since that shit takes a couple of weeks to get here, more so since the clumsy pegasus usually makes the deliveries. I do wish they'd send somepony else… even though she does make me chuckle at times with her poor coordination. Well I suppose I should get ready for my outing. Cloak… um blue this time, blue is a friendly colour right? Bits? Check. Bags… right where I left them. Alright Demostine it's a new day, full of opportunity let's do our best to avoid everything and get our shit done without dying or worst of all being attacked by hellspawn… although that tends to be impossible 90% of the time, but we can still try. Nodding to myself I exited the house, put up the wards and left for… um the city of Townsville… or something what's the town called again?

Travelling through whitetail woods to insert town name here I decided not to go invisible for the sheer fact that shopping while invisible would freak the store clerks out and claim they are being haunted by ghosts… again. Do it once and no one ever lives it down. True I was short on cash at the time and yes I did get most of my stuff for free, but that's stealing and stealing is evil I guess in some cases. But I still got the stuff but trying it again had all these rumors come up and at least one attempted angry mob that got as far as whitetail woods before I stamped it out with some cheap tricks and the apparently 'slaying' of the ghost. So yeah no being invisible for me this time round. On the other hand, the hermit is now known sometimes as a ghost buster… whatever that means; I can't put ghosts in jail if that's what their implication is. Be pretty cool if I could though but that's not the point… actually what was my point? What was I even talking about? Was there a point to my ramblings in the first place? Oh look a town how wonderful… SHOPPING yes food that's why I'm here in… um… Townsville?

 _Note to self: write down name of town somewhere I can easily remember… note to self: also remember to carry around my notebook so I can write notes to myself… note to self: stop making mental notes to self because I'm unlikely to remember them in the first place_.

Arriving at Ponyville as the large name outside of town said I wandered into the marketplace to find a whole variety of goods for sale. Which is good because sales mean I spend less and spending less means I can leave faster. Not that the town doesn't have its rustic charms it's just… it a very boring place. I mean the whole nightmare thing was probably the most action this place has had in a while. If you're into peace and quiet here is the best place but it's just… ugh you know. I know of course, exile yourself to the one place they'd never find you. Not that I'm being chased… anymore anyway hopefully I'm sure the Zebras in that one village have forgiven me by now. But yes shopping, shopping is good to do right now.

Which is what I did for an hour before I had everything basically squared away, the cart I borrowed will provided excellent coverage and can just magic it back here when I'm done so no one will accuse me of stealing carts. I pretty successful day since no one's attacked me yet. *THUMP* Though I probably should have seen this coming as a blue something crashed into me… well I wasn't attached to the cart so the food is fine. "Hey watch it you… wait you're that guy from a couple of days ago!" The blue one exclaimed as I actually look at her and find it's one of sparklebutt's friends, Miss Pride flag herself. "Yes it's me…Mario" I state the last part under my breath. "Yo dude thanks for that backup before with the big guy and the fire it was really cool." She's said two sentences to me and I already find her annoying. "Yes well all in a day's work…" I said just staring at her hoping she would go away. "Can you show me what crazy magic you did in trade I'll let you see the fastest Pegasus ever in action!" Please no go away. "I must decline as you see I'm out shopping and wish to return-" "But dude you're like never here I've flown all around Ponyville and like I only ever see you here every couple of months and sometimes it looks like you never come all year." For a very pink obvious reason kid, "Yes that's just how I am; now shoo shoo you probably have important things not related with me to do." "But the main reason I'm here is to say thanks." You crashed into me, why can't flyers ever learn to just land without destroying things in the process? "Uh thank me?" "Yeah with that advice you gave Twi we all got tickets and I get to live me dream and show my skills to the Wonderbolts." Oh yes the so called show offs who are totally not elite flyer agents for sunbutt no no they can't be just more than showponies, the inability to see this is baffling but whatever. "Uh sure no problem I guess." "But serious we gotta hang out sometime' she said putting her hoof over my neck 'we'd can hang out and stuff and I can show you my moves for the Bolts." "No thank you' using magic to remove herself from me 'I have no interest in your speedy suicide nor do I wish to 'hang out' as you say" using my hooves for foot quotes. "Hey why not? You seem pretty close with Twi if you're giving her advice" Stupid little, "You wish advice fine. My advice is to stop trying to show yourself off at every opportunity, the world does not revolve around you or your ego. Your speed demon ways can serious hurt someone if you keep crashing into them and I'm certain with the number of crashes you've had that you have some kind of mental problem similar to that of the hellspawn." She just stood their staring as well as half the market; I'm tired and have no time for such foolishness. Hooking myself to the cart I left the quiet marketplace.

A tad rude but a tired demonologist is a grumpy one and they should be rather glad I didn't start summoning stuff for my anger. But looks like I'm banned from coming here for the next couple of weeks just to cool off. "YOU!" By the Gods not now as I see the devil herself appear in front of me "You say sorry you meanie!" Ouch such cruel words truly wound my soul… what's left of it anyway. "Get out of my way hellspawn." I state in a monotone voice that I usually use on her. "No you say sorry to dashie right now!" Pet names… cute, lighting up my horn hellspawn is casually picked up as I pass by "No thanks, peace out kid." And just leave her floating there as I leave town back for home. Does one kind act and they assume too many things. I may be a good pony but that doesn't mean I'm the pinnacle of happiness and friendship and blah blah blah with such nonsense. I'll lend a hoof if it benefits me and isn't to out of the way anything else is to much to ask. Arriving home, and storing everything I sit down on my comfy couch and take a long nap for hopefully the rest of the day.


End file.
